What You REALLY NEED When Expecting or Having a Baby
3 January 2024
I recently met a friend who’s in her 32nd week of pregnancy and she asked me how to best prepare for the the life with a baby.
This question took me way back in time.
I remember getting ready for my child’s arrival 5 years ago, attending pregnancy yoga classes, hypnobirthing courses, and batch-cooking meals for the postnatal recovery, convinced that I have nailed it all and that I will just sail through it!
So many aspects of having a baby took me by surprise.
I wasn’t prepared for my son being born prematurely and separated from me soon after birth.
I wasn’t prepared for not being able to reheat or actually eat the batch-cooked meals as breastfeeding my son required both hands for him to latch on properly.
I wasn’t prepared for sleep deprivation, emotional rollercoaster, or the overwhelm from feeling responsible for this tiny human being.
But most of all, I wasn’t prepared to ask for & receive help.
So I’ve crushed. And and one point life seemed pretty dark.
But then, slowly but surely, I was able to put myself back again with the help and support of some of the most amazing therapists, coaches & healers. As well as a nutritionist. Yes, I was already practicing nutritional therapy but I acknowledged that I needed the support of another professional who specialised in postnatal nutrition.
So when my friend asked me what I think she might need, I said ‘YOU NEED SUPPORT’. Any form of help you can set up in place is gold, even if you decide that you don’t need it few weeks in!
If you can rely on your friends and family, great! But if you can’t, then don’t expect to do this all by yourself (even if your Partner is willing to help, he will also be under a lot of pressure).
‘No-one talks about this!’ I often hear from other Mums who openly share they would feel so much more prepared for what’s to come, if only they heard more real-life motherhood stories!
Some ideas for Parents’ Little Helpers include:
1 Housekeeper
Because no one can cuddle your baby like you do, but anyone can mop up the floor and wash the dishes
2 Doula or Baby-Sitter
So that you can take a shower and enjoy a HOT drink in peace
3 Breastfeeding Consultant
To help with any challenges that may arise if you choose to breastfeed or pump the milk
4 Sleep Consultant
Who can offer basic advice for both you and the baby in the early days and even more so once your child is 4-6 months old so that you don’t have to be sleep deprived
5 Meal Train
Ask friends and family to batch cook a few meals for your freezer or get you vouchers for meal boxes
6 Counsellor, Psychotherapist or a Women’s Circle
To be able to express what you feel and be heard in a safe environment
7 Nutritionist
To help you adjust the way you eat to your current circumstances, abilities and needs, and to nourish your body when it needs it the most!
Now, the reason why I shared so openly about my crush when having a baby is because I wish for any Woman to go through the early years of Motherhood feeling empowered, able to take care of her own health and prioritising her needs, knowing that filling her own cup will benefit her as well as everyone she cares for.
You don’t have to feel broken, tired and low. With the right support, you can build yourself again in this new, life-changing role.
Contact me to find out how we can work together to help you regain your energy, spark and zest for life.
Best wishes,
Emilia
